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Working from home while caregiving - impossible balancing act
I work remote and my mom with mobility issues moved in with us 3 months ago. In theory it should work great - I'm home all day! In practice I'm trying to take Zoom calls while she needs help, missing deadlines because of doctor appointments, and feeling like I'm terrible at both my job and caregiving.
My boss has been understanding but its affecting my performance and I know it. Has anyone navigated this without wrecking their career?
Been in this exact situation for a year now. What saved me:
1. Hired a part-time home health aide 3 mornings a week. Not cheap but my job pays more than the aide costs so the math works.
2. Told my boss the full situation. Most managers are more understanding than you'd expect, especially if you're proactive about solutions.
3. Set up "deep work" blocks on my calendar where I literally lock my office door. Mom is safe and I check on her between blocks.
4. Grouped all mom's appointments on one day so I only lose one day of work per week to medical stuff.
Its still hard but way more manageable with structure.
Look into FMLA if you're in the US. You might qualify for intermittent FMLA for caring for a parent which protects your job while you handle medical appointments and care needs. HR should be able to help with the paperwork.
Also: Area Agency on Aging in your county may have free or subsidized home care services. Worth a call.
I don't have a solution but just want to say you're not alone. This is an incredibly common situation and its not talked about enough. The number of working adults quietly managing caregiving responsibilities while trying to keep their careers afloat is staggering. You're doing the best you can in an impossible situation.
Six years into this and I have not solved it. Anyone who tells you they've solved it has either a level of family help most of us don't have, or they're lying.
What's actually worked, somewhat: I block 9-11am as "no calls, no kids, no parents, just work" and I treat it like a meeting on the calendar. Three days a week I get those two hours. Two days I don't because something always blows up. Two hours is enough to ship one focused thing per week.
Everyone else's tips assume you control your time more than you do. The truth is the kids and the parents control your time and you make the rest of it work around them.