The sandwich generation isn’t just a concept — it’s my daily reality. My mom got diagnosed with early-stage dementia last year. She lives 45 minutes away and needs more help every month. At the same time, I’ve got a 14-year-old and a 16-year-old who need me showing up for them too.
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I feel like I’m letting everyone down. How do other people actually hold all of this together?
Most people don’t have a name for this.
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You’re not failing anyone — you’re doing an impossible job. I’m in the same boat with my dad (Alzheimer’s) and two kids under 10. What helped me was accepting that I can’t do it all perfectly.
look into your local Area Agency on Aging. they have resources for respite care, adult day programs, meal delivery. some of it is free or low cost
The teenagers are probably more capable of helping than you think. My 15 year old started visiting grandma on her own once a week. It gave me a break AND they built a great relationship.
Please don’t forget about yourself in all this. Caregiver burnout is real and if you go down the whole system falls apart. Even 30 minutes a day of something just for you matters.