I have a wife, two kids, a decent job, friends I see occasionally. On paper I’m not lonely. But I feel completely alone. Like nobody actually knows who I am.
I read somewhere that men’s friendships become transactional after 30 — you have work friends, gym friends, but no one you’d call at 2am if everything fell apart. That hit hard.
Is this just how it is as you get older or is there something wrong with me?
There’s nothing wrong with you. Male loneliness is an epidemic and the stats back it up. Something like 15% of men have zero close friends now compared to 3% in 1990.
THIS. i have like 200 contacts in my phone and nobody i could have a real conversation with. its like friendships for men have an expiration date after college
what changed for me was joining a mens group. not therapy exactly, more like a weekly meetup where guys actually talk about real stuff.
I think part of the problem is that we define friendship as doing stuff together instead of being honest with each other.