When to ask for professional help (a checklist)
I've been watching this community grow and I want to put something out there that I think is important. Whether you're a caregiver, dealing with mental health challenges, navigating a life transition, or just struggling — there's a difference between normal hard and needs-professional-help hard.
Please talk to a professional if:
- You've had persistent low mood or emptiness for more than 2 weeks
- You're having thoughts of self-harm or that the world would be better without you
- You're using alcohol or substances to cope more than occasionally
- You're experiencing panic attacks or debilitating anxiety
- Your physical health is deteriorating and you haven't seen a doctor
- You've lost interest in everything that used to matter to you
- You're crying daily or having emotional breakdowns that interfere with functioning
- You feel like you've hit a wall and nothing is getting better despite your efforts
Where to start:
- Your primary care doctor (they can screen for depression/anxiety and refer you)
- Psychology Today therapist finder (psychologytoday.com/us/therapists)
- BetterHelp or similar platforms for quick access to online therapy
- Crisis line: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988)
- Caregiver-specific: Alzheimer's Association helpline 1-800-272-3900
This forum is wonderful for community support. It is NOT a replacement for professional help when professional help is needed. I care about every person in this community and I want you all to be well. Really well.
Pinning this in my brain. When I was at my lowest, I checked at least 5 of those boxes and STILL didn't think I "needed" professional help. The checklist format is really useful because it removes the ambiguity. It's not "maybe I should think about it" — it's "if this is you, go."
Also want to add: there's no shame in any of this. I needed help. I got help. I'm alive and thriving because I got help. The hardest part is making the first phone call. Everything after that gets easier.
Diane thank you for this. I ticked 4 of those boxes before I finally went to therapy and I wish someone had given me a checklist like this two years ago. It would have saved me a lot of suffering.
Sharing this with my caregiver support group (the real-life one). Every caregiver needs to see this.
saving this post. I would have ticked literally every box 3 years ago. every single one. and I still thought I was fine because "men are supposed to handle things." what a lie that was.
thank you diane. this community is genuinely one of the best things I've found on the internet. real people, real conversations, no BS. glad I'm here.