Emotional numbness - is this depression?
I dont feel sad exactly. I just don't feel... anything? Like my daughter scored a goal at her soccer game last weekend and I could see that I should be excited but the feeling wasnt there. Same with work achievements, time with friends, everything. Its like watching my life through a window.
Is this what depression looks like for guys? Because its not how they show it in the movies.
Yes, this is absolutely what depression can look like. It's called anhedonia - inability to feel pleasure. For men especially, depression often shows up as numbness, irritability, or withdrawal rather than "feeling sad." You're not broken, your brain is just protecting itself from overwhelm.
Please talk to someone - a therapist, your doctor, even a helpline. This is treatable.
Went through the exact same thing about a year ago. Everything felt flat. I described it to my wife as "the color was gone from everything." Ended up being a combination of burnout from work + never processing some stuff from my past. Therapy + some lifestyle changes (sleep, exercise, cutting back on alcohol) made a massive difference.
It does get better. Promise.
the window metaphor is so accurate. felt exactly this way for probably 2 years before I did anything about it. wish i hadn't waited so long.