I moved my mother-in-law into assisted living last month. It was the right decision — she needs 24/7 care that we can’t provide at home. But the guilt is unbearable.
She cries every time we visit. She says we abandoned her. When does the guilt get better?
The guilt gets better but it doesn’t fully go away. My dad has been in memory care for 8 months. What helps is reminding myself that he’s SAFE there. That’s not abandonment, that’s love.
Please talk to the facility’s social worker. They deal with family guilt all day long and they have resources to help.
My grandmother told my mom she was being thrown away when she moved to assisted living. Within three months she had more friends than she’d had in years. Give it time.